that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
