I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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