its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
