Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
NoShamevember. You game?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize