it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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