shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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