someone threw a dead crab at me
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
