i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
