I just threw up on my dentist
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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