need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We are all done wearing pants today
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
