are you so shy because you have an std?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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