the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
