that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
