so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
