i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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