last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Small penises have feelings too.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
