We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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