i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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