I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize