end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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