I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
