She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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