Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
