You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
