I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
