Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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