I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
