I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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