This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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