8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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