For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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