it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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