to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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