your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i was born a porn star she said
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize