That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
