There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
