Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize