Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
