I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
