Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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