...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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