Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
3 2 1 whiskey
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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