Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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