she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
