her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
