Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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