I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
