I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
