Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
