we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
