he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
