Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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