My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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