do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
