I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
